Virgin Pod

FIRST TIMERS GUIDE

Posted by Doug Ruuska

OK, so you are going to the Burn for the very first time. CONGRATULATIONS, you are in for a terrible treat. The rest of us have all been there and through that trying first time and we have even learned something from it and perhaps we can impart some of that wisdom to you.

What follows are 3 separate first timers guides. There will be redundancy, but hey, an extra half hour spent now perusing these docs is certainly better than spending 12- precious hours out on the Playa in the med tent getting intravenous fluids pumped into your sorry ass 'cause no-one told you that you had to drink water all the time...

Anyways, here goes:

The first link is to the official Burning Man version, READ IT:

http://www.burningman.com/first_timers

The second link is to AutoSub's basic version. It has a bunch of camp specific items, but is still worth taking a gander at.

http://www.automaticsubconscious.com/index.php?id=6

The third one is a little something that I put together myself and read every year as a form of reminder to me about what I need to remember as a Jaded Old Veteran Burner. (TM) Read on my friend, read on and don't say that we did not try to warn you...

FOOT CARE: The Playa is extremely alkaline, your skin will dry up and blow away, especially your feet as they are the closest to the nice, high pH Playa. Boots and socks and olive oil work great to keep your feet happy. Clean them with Baby-Wipes every night before bed and apply olive oil to them and you should be fine. Some folks swear by a vinegar rub-down to neutralize the alkalinity before oiling. Footwash camp is real nice as well. I start each Play year off with a nice pedicure to prepare my feet for the rigors of the expedition. You gotta be tough, ya understand? Tevas and sandals are great, but without socks they expose your tender little doggies to great potential for abuse. 'Playa Foot' is the colloquial term for painful, cracked-open skin that really can reduce your enjoyment of the event. You have been warned.

CLEANING YOUR CARCASS: Baby Wipes work wonders for keeping you clean and happy. You MIGHT get 1 or 2 showers on the Playa (bring your own water) - and those are only 1 or 2 gallons each. Think about it, the average 5-minute shower out in the world uses 30-gallons of water, a low-flow shower head can cut that down to 15. Here you get 1-2. So baby wipes are the next best thing. Oh yeah, it is probably worth it to hunt out the unscented ones, or else you smell like baby bottom for the week.

WATER: Drink it, then drink some more, then have a water chaser. Keep water with you at all times. Water bottles, Platypus's, Camelbaks, old bleach bottles, etc. Don't worry, if there is one thing that we have never run out of it is food and water. You are dehydrating rapidly in the close to 0% humidity and elevated temperatures of daytime Playa. Nighttime is dry as well and just as important to keep hydrated during. It also takes a bit of getting used to, your body and mind need a little time to acclimatize to your new environment. In the first two days, if you're not pissing at least once an hour, you're likely not drinking enough. At first you will be pissing water out so much that you will become intimately connected to the most direct path to the porta-potties (PPs). (Intoxicants or caffeine can amplify these effects, so beware of sudden urgencies.) This too shall pass as your system gets used to the flushing effects of all that water. Get yourself a nice big pee-bottle as well to have by your tent so that you are not constantly getting up for that long haul to the PPs in the middle of whenever it is that you choose to sleep. A wide mouth bottle, like a big Gator-Ade one, is best for the gents. ;0 When full bring to the PPs and empty out, don't be THAT GUY/GAL who has a fortress wall of full pee bottles surrounding their tent, YEEAAACHHH!. Ladies, check out the pee-funnel camp if interested in making this easier.

DUST-STORMS: Try to find shelter, have yourself some goggles and a dustmask. In a pinch a wet bandana over your mouth makes a BIG difference. Goggles, some of which will fit over glasses if you have prescrips like me, are NECESSARY! Be careful in a whiteout as there may be some drunken fool in an art car barrelling down on your unsuspecting ass so be alert and make some noise if you feel impact is imminent. You may also want to have clear googles for night time use.

PLAYA TRANSPORTATION: BICYCLE! If'n you don't have one you WILL regret it. You can walk everywhere, but the distances are huge - and deceptively tiring - and you can see a lot more of the fascinating stuff if you can cover more ground. Make sure your bike is in good shape BEFORE you go as the Playa is harsh terrain for mechanical beasts. Bring a flat repair kit and you will be potentially happier. If you have a problem on the Playa, there are always a couple of bike repair camps out there, but if you are not an amazing hottie in distress, and even if you are, be prepared to be humbled by your need of the bike repair gods and for goodness sakes, have a decent bribe on hand. Decorate your steed and it will be much easier to find in that giant pile outside of the Trance Dance Camp 2-hours later. Also a distinctive bike is less likely to be mistaken as theirs by someone else. A bike lock, preferably a combo so that there is no key to lose, is ESSENTIAL. Most missing bikes are the result of mistakes, however, there are always selfish assholes, no matter the Utopia that you find yourself in and they will take a bike becaue it is convenient for THEM. Add a 'please return to' label with your camp name and address and mistakes will usually return themselves, but a lock keeps your bike for YOU to use. Have a bike light for the back of your pack. Early in the week, there are not many people around and the Playa is vast and spacious. but come the end of the week and HOLY SHIT! there is traffic and navigation needs some attention paid to it. Besides you REALLY want that art car or other speeding 5-person bicycle juggernaut of DOOM to SEE you as it barrels down atchya in the night.

As a corollary to transportation, any small excursion from camp can often, delightfully, turn out to last for many hours. things happen, you may be sucked onto an art car, next thing you know you're swirling around the universe with new friends, no bicycle, no idea where you live, wishing you had some water/goggles/bandana/gifts etc. Pack for serendipity.

WHAT TO SEE & DO: VERY helpful in 2011: someone printed and shared that year's Art Guide, with descriptions and locations of major projects we might like to see. It's worth reading this online before you come out, so you don't kick yourself years later that you'd never known about that year's subterranean movie theater or inflatable wooly mammoth. The same thing for the What-Where-When Guide so that you don't miss out on the possibilty of attending that seventh-son-of-a-seventh-son-named-Sue-coming-of-age-throat-piercing-party. Every evening at dinner take a moment to share with your camp-mates at least one thing that you saw/witnessed/experienced during the day that you feel that they should do too. But also remember, that BRC is HUGEMONGOUS! You WILL NOT see everything. The desert can be deceptively exhausting and overstimulating for days on end. So don't push yourself so hard that you burn out and miss the rest of the PHUN!

SLEEPING: The Playa is hard and flat. A lot of folks bring a cushy, comfy air mattress and live the life of luxury, me I usually bring just a sleeping pad, but you WILL be there sleeping on the ground for a week. A cot might be useful here - it gets you off the dirt and makes stow space underneath. BIG tents are best, more air inside to heat up, so not as bad as a backpacking tent, besides there is much more room for that trunk of costumes and the full-length mirror that you will need.

SHADE: A shade structure is quite useful if you think that your nightlife will catch up with your daylife and you may have to sleep sometime during the week. (Hint: it will.) When your tent is 120-degrees F, it will not be a pleasant place for your dreams to hatch in. Ask around, see what others are doing, extra shade can be as simple or elaborate as you want it to be.

SUN: Ahhh, the Sun, good old Sol, the Daystar, maker of energy and cancerous growths. USE SUNSCREEN, ALL THE TIME, ESPECIALLY WHEN YOU FIRST ARRIVE. Sun exhaustion is real and will happen to you. Nothing will destroy your burn faster than sunstroke, feverish puking punctuated by dizzying nausea and wishes for death. Definitely the recipe for a sub-optimal experience. Get a good SPF-40 sun screen and get a big one. Bring more than you will need. That way you will not run out AND you can share. Sunscreen Massage Camp anyone, and yes there is one. A BASH (Big Ass Sun Hat) proves quite useful. A parasol protects you and is quite the stylish little accessory as well. Great for promenading.

NIGHT: Keep yourself lit up if you like, but a head-lamp, a water bottle and a fur coat are NECESSITIES! Remember you are in a high desert environment where the temerature can, and does, fluctuate wildly. It is not unheard of for it to be 115F during the day and plunge down to 45F at night. Hypothermia is a REAL danger here. It is best to have yourself clothing for all extremes. A set of lightweight thermal undies can save your ass, and your good time. A honking big fake fur coat will keep you warm and satisfy your inner fashionista to boot. Hats are really good and a simple way to keep that 70% of your radiated heat closer to the old noggin rather than warming up outer space with it. Light gloves are not a bad idea either, in any sense of the word...

WORK: All is not play on the Playa, not if you are in a kickass theme camp that intends on winning Burning Man, AGAIN! Bring some clothes that you don't mind getting trashed as there will be work aplenty. A pair of good work gloves and sturdy, toe-protecting shoes are ideal to have as well - particularly for setup and breakdown. Everyone in camp is expected to work, and work hard, however, that does not mean to work yourself to death. If you're tired take a break, keep hydrated, keep well-fed, get out of the sun if you need to. A broken worker bee helps not the hive.

LNT (Leave No Trace): DON'T LET IT HIT THE GROUND! It's a good idea to have some sort of Playa bag to lug around all of your miscellaneous crap such as water bottle, camera, sunscreen, goggles, dust mask, snacks, gifts, etc., etc. Another use for this fine piece of equipment is as a temporary trash bag. NEVER discard anything on the Playa, bring it back to camp and dispose of it properly. We will be going to the Fernley landfill after the event. A great practice is to pick up other trash that you come across as well, shows good civic responsibility and quality of character and all that. A good example for the other newcomers or jaded BRC citizens around you. If you smoke, get one of those ubiquitous Altoid's mint tins, or similar for to put your used up butts in. Around camp, part of our stewardship responsibility to the Playa is to leave our campsite as clean, or cleaner than we found it. If you keep an eye out on a daily basis for MOOP (Matter Out Of Place) around camp, it will make the final MOOP sweep once camp is down that much easier.

BECOMING OVERWHELMED: If things start to seem like they are too much for you, for WHATEVER reason, your campmates are there to help you. Find someone you know and explain the problem, if you can. There are resources available on the Playa if you are in distress of any form. A Black Rock Ranger CAN and WILL help you out. They run sanctuary, which is a good place to be if things become too much for you. Working with them is a group called MAPS. http://www.maps.org/news/#14 to find out a bit more about what they do.

Happy Burnering!

Doug

FOR THE LADIES

Pee funnels are completely amazing. If you haven't peed standing up before, it's kind of weird, and I am usually a bit pee-shy my first few times at each event, but once you figure out which muscles to bear down on, and realize that you can PEE ANYWHERE, it flows like Niagara Falls.

You can do pee funnel camp, like Doug mentioned, but there are also commercial solutions that will stay with you forever. I bought one of these<http://www.amazon.com/Kristas-Cups-Pink-Pstyle/dp/B002AA2LD2> lovely devices, made a little belt-looped sheath for it, and have used it at Burning Man, Firefly, and every other non-easy-pee event since. It is pretty much the best thing ever. There are other models too, but I like mine a lot for the form factor (sheath-able) and price (a mere $11).

• tl;dr:*

Drop $11 on this<http://www.amazon.com/Kristas-Cups-Pink-Pstyle/dp/B002AA2LD2> and PEE ANYWHERE.